Sunday, March 18, 2012

Case Study


Subject: White male, 57, although if you'd asked him at noon he'd have suggested 77 and if you had watched him climb the stairs an hour earlier, 97. Subject has a charlie-horsed left quadricep, bruised right ribcage, aching everything, and a nagging suspicion that his body has evolved beyond the playing of kid's games. Now if only his mind would. Competitive soccer at 8:00am is hard on old bodies.

Status: Subject is lying on the living room couch with no intention of rising until his body stops aching or mid-spring - whichever comes first. He plans to flip back and forth between recorded Champions League games and live NCAA basketball for the next twelve hours, feeling fairly confident that he has enough energy to press the jump button on the DirecTV remote for that long. A pre-noon anesthetic Newcastle brown ale sits on the coffee table and the manly scent of BENGAY fills the air.


Stimulus: The cell phone rings. If it's not sitting within easy reach - next to the Newcastle - it goes unanswered.

"Hello"

"Watcha doin'?"

"I'm lying here on the couch and I'm not moving for the next 4 days."

"The white bass are running. I'm slammin'em. I can pick you up at the canoe launch."

"I'll be there in twenty minutes."


And the subject, miraculously, is.



Hypothesis: Anecdotal evidence of the recuperative powers of fishing - even the notion of fishing - is compelling. It suggests that the mere prospect of sitting in the middle of a white bass migration with a 6wt and a box full of pink and white clousers, fighting feisty fish after feisty fish, significantly diminishes the debilitating effects of injury and illness. Further studies are warranted.

Alternate hypothesis: The subject is fucking crazy.

19 comments:

Howard Levett said...

Fishing has recuperative powers far beyond the knowledge of mortal man...or maybe the Newcastle?

Mike said...

Good points, both, Howard, for I'm sure the Newcastle played no small part. Cheers!

Stormbo said...

Mike.. you're not crazy the hold is too strong. When I lived on the gulf one of my best friends was getting married one Sunday. I figured I'd run offshore and hit the rigs early and then be in by 10:30 and make the service. all went to plan until that last weedline I hit on the way in. it had other plans for me and I missed the wedding. He understood but his wife never liked me much.

upacreek333 said...

The healing tonic that is fly fishing.

Steve Zakur said...

A little bit of crazy is a good thing.

I was painting the study on Saturday when English Jonny called and mentioned he was on his way to a small stream by the house.

That second coat of paint could wait.

Anonymous said...

Suffering from the same illness (I'm 58!) it's a pleasure to read that you are healing yourself whith the best prescription in town. Here in Montreal, snow is diseapearing and I am preparing myself for a great season of "self-healing". Always a pleasure to read your text!
Thanks!

Albert

Ken G said...

My back is stiff as a board from my little high water venture yesterday. Which tells me more high water ventures are needed.

Funny how we justify those things at our age.

The white bass around here don't have those blue fins, that I recall. Now I have to go dig through my photo records.

Three or four Advil is the same as prescription strength. Tylenol is worthless.

TC/Trout Underground said...

You might be crazy (if you're a forward I'd suggest it was a certainty), but then as fishermen, it's possible we're just not all that smart.

Though I need to note that I turned off the satellite TV so I'd have more time to get pummelled by my kid and I wouldn't have to watch Man United lose again in Europe (it worked; they still lost, but I didn't have to watch).

Mike said...

Priorities, Greg. Priorities. She just didn't understand.

Tonic? Did someone say tonic? I think there's a stop to be made somewhere between SA and CC, Chris.

Every fisherman needs an English Jonny, Steve. Glad yours came through when you really needed him. Painting, indeed.

Thanks Albert. It's tough to relate to the Montreal snow, here in the South, but the cure is universal. Have a great season!

Isn't self delusion a wonderful character trait, Ken? And I didn't really notice how blue those fins were until I looked at the picture. Such odd coloration. And without Advil, I'd be toast.

A forward!? Please, Tom. Left back here. Think Roberto Carlos - except without the speed, skill, or free kick mastery. So sad about Man U's departure from the CL. At least Chelsea's through (he says, twisting the knife).

Alex said...

Love it! Thanks for the laugh. It's amazing how quickly one can 'heal' when a fishing trip is dangled in front of them. I practically walked off an ankle sprain of epic proportions after a soccer game just to go tuna fishing the next day.

TC/Trout Underground said...

At least Chelsea's through (he says, twisting the knife).

I've heard of them -- aren't they one of those mid-table clubs?

Mike said...

More evidence, Alex. Thanks!

And they are indeed, Tom. Just a bunch of old guys, hangin' on.

Kevin Frank said...

The coloring of that fish is a lot different than the white bass on the Eno. That fish has actual color instead of a monochrome look. I like the blue tint on the fins. Very cool.

Seth said...

I have been there. Usually, the pain is due to too much liquor and too little sleep when me and my brothers are out at all hours on local streams and bars on one of "boys trips". It's amazing how good you can feel all of a sudden when the fish are on.

Mike said...

Kevin, I've been puzzling over those blue fins myself. Could be that they are enahnced by the reflection of the very blue gheenoe we were in, although the water wasn't exactly mirror-like.

And Seth, self inflicted liquor/sleep imbalance is a fisherman's given and doesn't count. But I know what you mean, brother. I know what you mean.

e.m.b. said...

I think you're crazy....good. :)

Mack said...

nice.....what kinda boat and model is that boat...thanks Mack

Mike said...

Mack, that's Troy's Gheenoe. A fine little watercraft that fishes two quite nicely. Draws very little and is incredibly stable. I'm tempted...

Mack said...

Nice....I didnt reconize it as a Gheenoe but I have been looking at some used ones(15') and hope to win one soon as I am in a raffle for one but if you know my luck , I will not be the winner.........Mack