Thursday, December 2, 2010

'Twas the Week Before Christmas... Again

A Holiday Repost of a Beloved MGF Christmas Classic
(Hey, it works for The Grinch)


'Twas the week before Christmas and down on the Haw
Not a fish was arisin', the weather was raw.
The water was frigid and brisk was the air,
Too chilly for fishing, but I didn’t care.

The largemouth were nestled down deep in their pools
While bluegill and sunfish were nobody’s fools.
And I in my waders and old fishing cap,
As usual, just couldn’t cast worth a crap.

When further upstream there arose such a crash,
I started, and slipped, and sat down with a splash.
My glasses went this way, my rod, it went that.
You know you’re in deep when you’ve floated your hat.

The gleam of the sun on the river around
Was lovely, but heck, I was going to drown!
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a funky old kayak. (The end must be near.)

With a little old paddler, too fat for the boat,
Who was trying his best just to keep it afloat.
Through the rapids he teetered, bounced off every big rock.
The dude’s in big trouble, I thought with a shock.

But as he arrived at my favorite hole
He snapped it in place with a neat barrel roll
And glided in softly, as smooth as can be.
No fish would be spooked, except maybe me.

And then in a twinkling he popped out of his craft
Like a cork from a bottle, I shouldn’t have laughed.
He reached back inside and he slowly withdrew
A lovely old 4wt of shiny bamboo.

He was dressed all in Gore-Tex and looked straight from the pages
Of catalogs like Orvis’, Chota’s and Sage’s.
A vest full of goodies encircled his frame
With gadgets and zingers, too many to name.

He spoke not a word but went straight to his fun,
Throwing laser-like casts, seeming straight from a gun.
His roll casts were graceful, his loops were so tight.
Presentations were flawless, each drift was just right.

He threw Clausers and Zonkers, and woollies and strymphs,
Caddis and Adams and Cahills and nymphs.
He had all of fly fishing's mysteries debunked,
But darned if old Santa Claus didn’t get skunked.

I felt sort of bad for the jolly old elf.
But why fish the Haw, I was asking myself.
He could have fished Battenkill, Madison, Snake.
It seemed that the Haw was a foolish mistake.

I needn’t have worried, I had nothing to dread,
For he gave me a wink and here’s what he said.
“We all should remember, and here’s what I’m wishin',
It’s not about fish, but it’s all about fishin'”.

He sprang to his boat, to the rocks gave a push,
And shot down the stream with a splash and a woosh.
But I heard him exclaim as he drifted from sight
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all keep lines tight”


Here's wishing the happiest of holidays to you and yours!!!

4 comments:

Ryan said...

Good stuff, nice job.

The Average Joe Flyfisherman
http://averagejoefisherman.blogspot.com/

The River Damsel said...

I like this a lot...Even Santa enjoys the "fishin" journey!!!

Josie Ray said...

Thanks for several good laughs, the first beginning with that photo! :-) What a hoot. I hope you're having this officially published somewhere. Excellent.

Walleye Fishing Tips said...

I love it! That takes some talent to write. Very nice.